Fighting Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Awareness month is observed every October to support victims and survivors of domestic violence, to hold abusers responsible, and to create awareness among the public of this heinous crime.
Domestic violence is different from other forms of violence in that the abuse is often conducted by someone who the victim loves and trusts. The feeling of betrayal inflicts irrevocable damage, and often leaves a person deeply traumatized for life. There have been many cases where the victims hesitate to ruin family relationships and are embarrassed to reveal the pain inflicted upon them. Domestic abuse is frequently characterized by a long-term pattern of power and control, which creates dependencies that make it difficult for the victim to flee. Relationships that end in domestic violence are not uncommon to begin as seemingly healthy and cheerful.

Domestic violence can develop over time and become more severe. As a result, many people are unaware that they are being abused until it is too late. It is the destructive behavior intended to acquire complete control over a partner, loved one, or even a friend. Domestic violence is not gender-based, contrary to popular belief. When it comes to domestic violence, most of the perpetrators tend to be close family members. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Assault, one out of every four men has been the victim of physical violence by a spouse.
However, women aged 16-24 and 25-34 are the most vulnerable age groups, while generally, men—husbands, in-laws, boyfriends, or relatives—are the perpetrators. The main causes of domestic violence are frustration, exposure to violent media, patriarchal society, lack of mutual trust, dispute over property, lack of sexual satisfaction, and alcohol or drug abuse.

With the rise of the COVID-19 pandemic and it’s restrictions of public movement, most of us had to experience confinement in our homes, resulting in higher risk of domestic violence. Domestic violence has proved to be ‘a pandemic amidst the pandemic’ on a global level.

In Nepal, the figures of domestic violence, especially against women, and child sexual abuse are increasingly being reported during the lockdown and thereafter. “As the country went into lockdown, victims were left alone at home with the abusers; this has led to a worrying rise in the number of cases. According to a lockdown report published by National Women Commission (NWC), which has recorded cases from March 24, 2020, to July 2021, 2020, the NWC helpline received a total number of 1267 calls about domestic violence. The data shows that the number of calls received kept on increasing as the lockdown was extended,” informs Simran Gauchan, Social Worker at Saathi.
The pandemic, indeed, did not just bring fear of coronavirus among people, but also brought unemployment and financial pressure among families, leading to frustrations and irritations and sometimes, even to domestic violence. “Generally, people have a tendency to harm those weaker than themselves, leading family members to lash out at each other, especially at women and children. In addition, since many people were cooped up in the house with the same people every day with nothing much to do, it led to rise in frustrations and annoyance, and hence, rise in cases of domestic abuse.”

Since the lockdown began on March 24, which continued till May 1, there have been 176 cases of violence against women and girls in just 18 districts. Nepal Police data shows that there were 211 reported complaints of child sexual abuse nationwide in 2018-19, whereas there were 48 cases in the WOREC data for only 6 weeks of the lockdown period in just 18 of Nepal’s 77 districts. Likewise, as per anecdotal records, there have been 48 complaints of child sexual assaults in the first six weeks of lockdown, an alarming number as compared to a total of 211 cases in the last Nepali fiscal year (2018/2019). According to data released by Women, Children and Senior Citizens Service Directorate of Nepal Police, 2,230 cases of rape, 786 cases of attempted rape, and 14,774 cases of domestic violence were recorded in fiscal 2018-19. Most of those crimes were perpetrated by husbands, relatives, and acquaintances of victims.

Saathi opened the first shelter (Ashreya Shivir) for women and girls facing domestic- and gender-based violence in Nepal in 1995, and currently, such shelters are operated in Kathmandu, Banke, and Kapilvastu. Saathi was established in 1992 to fight violence against women and children in Nepal, and it has persistently worked to ensure a safe and violence-free society. It coordinates and leads the National Network Against Domestic Violence (NNADV),which is composed of 48 national NGOs. Through intensive and persistent advocacy, Saathi, along with its network partners, was successful in having the Domestic Violence (Crime and Punishment) Act adopted in April 2009.

The organization is currently helping victims by providing a safe home for their safety. Gauchan adds, “We also support victims for medical expenses of the mother and children, offer training according to their interests, provide psycho-social counseling, and also support with the seed money to run a small business.” Similarly, Saathi also provides legal support with the coordination of Legal Aid and Consultancy Centre (LACC) and National Women Commission.

Major Types of Abuses

Physical abuse
Any intentional act that causes physical trauma to another person is considered physical abuse. Examples include looming over a victim, blocking an escape route, grabbing, burning, stabbing, biting, strangling, using weapons, throwing or breaking things, confinement, and denying access to medical care or medication.

Mental abuse
The consistent pattern of intimidation, manipulation, isolation, blame, humiliation, stalking, excessive calls, messages or emails, all fall under mental abuse.

Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse cause victims to doubt their abilities through verbally inflicting pain to the victime. This includes yelling, shouting, threatening, swearing, arguing, interrupting, name-calling, and patronizing.

Sexual abuse
Unwanted sexual behavior is a dreadful type of domestic violence. Non-consensual sexual activity, pressure to engage in sexual activity, prohibiting safe sex practices on purpose, forcing pregnancy or abortion, or forcing a partner to participate in pornography are some examples of sexual abuse.

Warning Signs
Some of the warning signs to know if someone is a victim of domestic violence, according to Gauchan, are the excuses for injuries, never having money in their hand, and overly worried about pleasing the partner. “They also have trouble controlling their feelings like anger and withdrawing from friends, family, and safe society.”
Keeping Yourself Safe

Know your worth
Each of us is important, and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Always keep in mind that it is never okay for someone to hurt you intentionally.

Plan to leave
Domestic violence usually involves close members of life; this is why you may be hesitant to leave or talk about it openly. Start with small steps, such as saving up some cash or finding a place to go, so that you feel prepared when you do leave.

Get help
Talking to people who care about you can help you cope with difficult moments. You can share the happenings with this person, who can help you think more rationally about the situation you’re in. This close support can also assist you in looking for escape routes and planning your freedom from domestic violence. If not, make sure to opt for public helplines and ensure your safety.

Helplines
• National Women Commission (NWC)’s 24-hour toll-free helpline service: Dial 1145. They offeri counseling and therapy sessions.
• CWIN Child Helpline: Dial 1098
• Nepal Police: Dial 100. Complaints may be lodged through their Facebook page, as well.